Taylor Swift's Best 'Life of a Showgirl' Lyrics: A Song-by-Song Guide to the Most Quotable Lines From 'Father Figure,' 'Actually Romantic,' 'Ruin the Friendship' and More
Welcome to "The Lyrics of a Showgirl." Any Taylor Swift album is endlessly quotable, and her 12th is far from the first exception, even if you have to go a few tracks in to "The Life of a Showgirl" to start getting to the truly provocative or meme-worthy lines you know are coming. It's an album primarily of romantic songs — more flagrant and uninterrupted professions of love than she's ever allowed herself on a single album before, that's for certain — and so, with grievances fading into the background a bit, you should be prepared for Swift coming on as a swooning softie. But there are also a couple of numbers in which her more lacerating side is in full view, even if she sounds playful as she tells perceived adversaries what's what. Here's a song-by-song guide to the most telling lyrics in each of the 12 songs. (And before or after you scan these lyric excerpts, take a separate look atVariety's full review of the album.) More from Variety New Movies Out Now in Theaters: What to See This Week Taylor Swift's 'Release Party of a Showgirl' Continues Streak of Unexpected Box Office Saviors Taylor Swift to Rule Box Office Again as 'Showgirl' Aims for $35 Million Debut, Topping 'Smashing Machine' THE FATE OF OPHELIA Surely, since the dawn of the internet, there have never been quite so many young people doing searches on a specific work of Shakespeare as there have since Swift announced the title of this album's leadoff track, which has also turned out to be its first single and music video. In short, things don't go so well for Ophelia in "Hamlet" so borrowing her name for a song title sounds more appropriate for one of the darker bonus tracks from "The Tortured Poets Department" than an entirely post-Kelce album. True, Ophelia does go mad in the play, and Swift has already expressed her fondness for madwomen. The eldest daughter of a noblemanOphelia lived in fantasyHer love was a cold bed full of scorpionsThe venom stole her sanity But the bouncy music bed provided by Max Martin and Shellback makes it clear that Swift is treading the light side, and the song is about how her fiancesavedher from going insane in the membrane. She breaks from Shakespeare to describe her beau's legendary cold calling… I heard you calling on the megaphoneYou wanna see me all aloneAs legend has it you are quite the pyroYou light the match to watch it blow And the song gets the album's sole sports allusion out of the way early: On the land, the sea, the skyPledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes As we soon will see from some of the lyrics that lean less toward the strictly lovey-dovey and a bit more toward the risque, Swift has definitely not gotten herself to a nunnery. ELIZABETH TAYLOR Despite titling the second track after one of filmdom's greatest legends (a la "Clara Bow" on the last record), and having once invoked Taylor in song before (remember "He can be my jailer/Burton to my Taylor"?), Swift doesn't go in very deep on references to Taylor's life or career. She seems mostly interested in the late actress's swoon-making eye color: And if your letters ever said "goodbye"I'd cry my eyes violet There's a reference to her favorite chart position, and her long-running singlehood: I been number one but I never had two Meanwhile, it's gift-giving season: Hey, what could you possibly get for the girl who has everything and nothing all at once?Babe, I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust (just kidding) That wiseacre parenthetical addition lets us know she's not pretending to be a completely immaterial girl. (For equivocation, the "just kidding" she adds might be ambivalence on the level of John Lennon singing "Revolution 1" and singing "You can count me out" of the revolution and then quietly adding "in.") OPALITE This third track on the album is the first one that actually sounds as completely sunny as some of the lyrics are. It's a burst of full color, even if the repeated references to "onyx" and "opalite" will send some listeners looking up all these different shades of joy. This might be the least quotable song on the album, honestly… but what it lacks in lyrical meme-worthiness, it makes up for in pure joy. Amid all the positivity, the most memorable lines might be the more sour ones the song opens with: I had a bad habit of missing lovers pastMy brother used to call it "eating out of the trash" FATHER FIGURE The late George Michael can take credit for the title and the hook but not much else in a song that takes a detour from romance to her lingering capacity for pure vituperation. Most listeners will figure it's about former mentor Scott Borchetta, since she's made no secret of that grudge since he sold Big Machine and her catalog with it. In any case the first half of the song takes place from a possible would-be Svengali's perspective: I'll be your father figureI drink that brown liqorI can make deals with the devilBecause my dick's biggerThis love is pure profitJust step into my officeI dry your tears with my sleeve You may notice in those lines a sly, somewhat subtle allusion to an earlier classic in her catalog, "This Love," now with a less earnest twist. When the song gets to the bridge, Swift changes the perspective from the executive's to her own: Your faultless ambition sparked the ignition on foolish decisions which led to misguided visionsThat to fulfill your dreams…You had to get rid of meI protect the family And, a bit of a victory cry following the reclamation of her recorded catalog after six years of trying: You pulled the wrong triggerThis empire belongs to me And, oh, by the way… just a bit more braggadocio from Swift to the father figure in question: Turns out my dick's bigger ELDEST DAUGHTER Arguably the most tender love song on the album begins with an excoriation of the nastiness the web breeds: Everybody's so punk on the internetEveryone's unbothered till they're notEvery joke's just trolling and memesSad as it seems, apathy is hotEverybody's cutthroat in the commentsEvery single hot take is cold as ice This is really just a preamble to Swift proclaiming that she is a softie, when it comes to her new love: But I'm not a bad bitchAnd this isn't savageI'm never gonna let you down And, a confession that will not come as a huge surprise, given present circumstances: When I said I don't believe in marriageThat was a lie RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP The one truly sad song on the album is a heartbreaking remembrance of a boy Swift was friends with in school days — Abigail is mentioned as a mutual classmate — and flirted with while keeping things in the friendzone. The nostalgia brings up the only reference to another artist on the album, after her last album was filled with them: And it was not an invitationBut as the 50 Cent song playedShould've kissed you anyway Now, he's dead, and the singer flies home for the funeral, whispering her regrets over her timidity at his graveside. And she offers her listeners some personal wisdom: My advice is always ruin the friendshipBetter that than regret itFor all time…And my advice is always answer the questionBetter that than to ask itAll your life ACTUALLY ROMANTIC Well, here's what will surely be the most discussed track on the album. Turns out Borchetta may not be the only former associate with whom she has unresolved issues. Although you can count on Swift never confirming it in this lifetime, it's going to be widely assumed this is about Charli XCX, who wrote a song for her last album alluding to their estrangement since they toured together in 2018, stating some nervousness over the fact that they were both dating members of the 1975 for a season: I heard you call me "Boring Barbie" when the coke's got you braveHigh-fived my ex and then you said you're glad he ghosted meWrote me a song saying it makes you sick to see my face As the song reveals its full playful conceit, Swift insists she is flattered by any bad will coming her way… flattered to the point of, um, arousal: You think I'm tacky, babyStop talking dirty to meIt sounded nasty but it feels like you're flirting with meI mind my business, God's my witness that I don't provoke itIt's kind of making me wet WI$H LI$T Back to pure romance — but, again, Swift sets up the lovey-dovey stuff in the chorus with a lot of amusing context about other people's dreams that don't exactly align with hers. They want those bright lights and Balenci shadesAnd a fat ass with a baby face…They want that complex female characterThey want that critical smash Palme d'OrAnd an Oscar on their bathroom floor What she wants, in contrast, is to be left to live out the suburban dream with her husband-to-be (albeit with not too much noseyness from the neighbors), children included: Have a couple kidsGot the whole block looking like youWe tell the world to leave us the fuck alone …and they do…Got me dreaming 'bout a driveway with a basketball hoopBoss up, settle down WOOD The theme of the album's most upbeat and danceable track is initially getting over superstitions about the impossibility of true love — hence the repeated "knock on wood" references. And although this was presumably recorded pre-engagement, she didn't mind predicting its imminence: Girls, I don't need to catch the bouquetTo know a hard rock is on the way But "wood" comes to take on a different meaning by the end of the track. At least, it doesn't seem like she's referring to a trip to Northern California when she refers to a "redwood tree." And then, she shares her pal Sabrina Carpenter's recent predilection for letting us know what is happening with her upper legs. Sorry, mums and dads: It ain't hard to seeHis love was the keyThat opened my thighs CANCELLED! Here Swift assures friends coming into her girl-pack that she doesn't mind if they've got, you know, reputations. Did you girl-boss too close to the sun?… Good thing I like my friends cancelled.. At least you know exactly who your friends areThey're the ones with matching scars HONEY In another tender love song, Swift offers various scenarios in which seeming terms of endearment like "honey" and "sweetheart" made her flinch in the past, because they were either uttered sarcastically by testy schoolmates or by lovers being careless with her affections. But not her new guy, who has finally made her love the H-word, and other loving sentiments like it. When anyone called me late nightHe was screwing around with my mindAsking, "What are you wearing?" too highTo remember in the morningAnd when anyone called me 'lovely'They were finding ways not to praise meBut you say it like you're in awe of me THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL The album's final track, a duet with Sabrina Carpenter, is the only one that offers a "Folklore"- or "Evermore"-style detour into a (presumably) fictional character narrative. It's one in which one or both of the two ladies first get advice at the stage door of a showgirl they adore, then pass that advice along to others coming up after them who need the same counsel. It may not literally track that the song's heroine, "Kitty," is a showgirl who is besieged by autograph hounds despite being described as a member of a chorus line of 50 women. But no need to get too hung up on that. In this number, which is ultimately kind of akin to the previous album's official closer, "Clara Bow," the point is to get to Swift and Carpenter describing show biz as both challenging and triumphal: You wanna take a skate on the ice inside my veinsThey ripped me off like false lashesAnd then threw me awayAnd all the headshots on the walls of the dance hall are of the bitches who wish I'd hurruy up and dieBut, I'm immortal now, baby dollsI couldn't if I tried That's chutzpah! But the album then ends on a note of camraderie between showgirls — the real-life Swift and Carpenter — as even the lyric sheet includes the snippet of on-stage dialogue from the Eras Tour that is appended to the track's end: "Give it up for the band, and the dancers, and of course, Sabrina!"…"I love you, Taylor!"All's well in the world of showgirls that ends in stadium-sized co-bills. Best of Variety Oscar Predictions: Could 'One Battle After Another' Join the Most Nominated Movie of All-Time Club? 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Taylor Swift's Best 'Life of a Showgirl' Lyrics: A Song-by-Song Guide to the Most Quotable Lines From 'Father Figure,' ...
